Butter Walnut Muffin

I am sitting in an internet cafe in India with sweat dripping down my back into my butt crack and down my thighs soaking my flip flops. I am disgusting right now and covered in sweat but Kate and I are laughing..... 24 hours ago that was not the case.

24 hours ago while sitting in a cafe waiting thirty minuted for a butter walnut muffin I lost my marbles and started to cry.  India had gotten the best of me and there was no keeping it in. It is so extremely difficult to explain what India is like and how the country tests you on absolutely every possible level. But when you end up crying over a butter walnut muffin you know your affected.

After a month in India I had hit the point where the country had stolen my peace. All I wanted to do was escape. I was tired of being hot, harassed, starred at, yelled at, felt up, haggled, lied to, lost, confused, exhausted, sick, dirty, covered in dirt/poop/pimples/wounds, followed, chased, and stinky.
Kate looked at me from across the table, as a cried into my butter walnut muffin, with the 'I know how your feeling girl' look in her eyes. I didn't feel like my self and my mind was planning an escape. I considered changing my flight and called my Dad's girl friend leaving a barely audible, blubbering message, stating something like 'I just can't handle this anymore'.  It's not that India isn't amazing or that I am not enjoying myself, it's just that it is constantly in your face, every second of every moment. The country and the people test your patience on a level nothing can prepare you for. This is place which forces you to see things you wish you hadn't and do things you would never do again. It is life changing on so many levels.

Which leads me back here, sitting in an internet cafe with sweat dripping down my back and my thighs, laughing with Kate at the amazing and interest things that continue to occur on our adventure. Today my laughing partner taught me that traveling has a cycle, like the cycle of grief. First there is the honeymoon period were the country can do no wrong. Second, is the reality period were you see a country for what it actual is. Third, comes the frustration period were everything drives you insane and you shake your head at everything you see, hear, and experience in utter disbelieve. Finally there is acceptance; acceptance for what the country is, worts and all. Maybe in other countries this cycle is less dramatic and emotionally draining but in India it is extremely powerful. Nevertheless, yesterday I may have cried into my butter walnut muffin but today I fell in love with India all over again.

Treasure

My journey never began in search of anything. As I boarded the plane in Vancouver for Hong Kong my only questions were about the unknown. I was walking into the unknown with only the bag on my back, faith in my heart and a guide book in my hand. Yet, even if we aren't in search of answers or treasures life always continues to teach us and guide us towards our personal legend.

Somewhere on the coast of India I laid on my hotel bed staring at the stained, white linen sheet that covered my double bed. The fan blew my long brown hair in every direction, while my eyes scanned the immediate horizon just passed my eye lashes. The smells of curry and sweat whipped around the room and caused my stomach to growl demanding lunch. Yet, I laid there, with my left ear flush against the stained, white linen sheet, and my mind completely empty.

In so many ways I have found complete freedom. I am somewhere in India, in a city called Pune but no one in the world knows exactly where I am. No one could find me even if they tried. Some may call that being lost but in the most beautiful way it is freedom. I have the gift of choosing every moment, of everyday, until I choose to be found again. The thought filled my heart like first beam of light from the sun that fills the sky upon rising. A smile crawled upon my face and the fan continued to blow my long brown hair around in circles as if it were dancing.

It is truly a beautiful sensation to have an empty mind; no thoughts; no worries; no to-do lists; people to call; appointments to make; or e-mails to answer. Simply the calm steady wave of my breath and a smile on my face. This is freedom! Freedom in the mind, freedom of choice, freedom in life! As my eyes continued to scan the stained, white linen sheet past my eye lashes, the answers to questions I never asked formed. This journey was not about searching the world for unanswered questions or finding myself but life has a way of continuing to teach us, even when we are simply following our path. My path took me to 10 countries in five months. It took me to the far ends and many corners of the earth. My path lead me to beautiful souls and showed me the riches of the earth. It showed me how breathtaking, beautiful and giving the universe truly is. Somewhere along this path, life taught me, step by step, country by country, day by day, what my personal legend is and now I know where I can find my treasure! It has always been there, in the place where I started my life and always will be there. I know the path to reach it and understand the challenges to come. But like the shepherd I first must see the beautify of the pyramids. I know the treasure will still be there when I reach it and I know its beauty will shine brighter than the sun. So, like the shepherd I will continue to listen to my heart, speak to the language of the world and follows the omens....

Tourist Thailand

Often it is the people who make a place special. You can go to one of the least exciting places in the world, but have the most phenomenal time, simply due to the people you are with. Thailand doesn’t even make my top five, for favourite places travelled, however it was one of my most memorable countries because of Jaimee. 

Jaimee Devlin is a lifelong best friend who flew from Canada to travel Thailand with me. She is one of the most independent, strong willed, open, determined, outgoing, beautiful people that I know.  Jaimee and I have such a deep connection and understanding of each other that we are able to communicate with our eyes 18m below sea level. We finish each other’s sentences, know each other’s thoughts, have the same ideas, live life with the same passion but have different tastes in men (ha ha ha). For all the months I have travelled my 30 days with Jaimee went by the fastest. Before I knew it we were hugging goodbye as she headed back to Canada and I stayed behind. During our fabulous time together this is a snap shot of our experiences…

We started our journey just outside Bangkok where we explored a floating market, market on the train tracks and ate enormous amounts of tasty thai food. Jaimee had a friend from London (Paul), who had a local friend (Por) who drove us to the neighbouring province to explore all of the above. Por treated us like Kings and Queens and gave without any reservation. Her kindness is something Jaimee and I will never forget and will one day repay when Por visits Canada.

After returning to Bangkok we connected with some Dutch friends of mine that I met in Laos. They were on their way home to Holland so we ripped up Khosan Road to send them off with a unforgettable last night out. Jaimee and I had our first beer tower and I went to sleep with a cheeseburger.  After waking up, from a short night sleep, we packed our bags and headed for a 12 hour train ride to Chiang Mai (CM). In CM we were greeted at the train station by an old family friend, Nolan, who moved to CM to teach for a few years. We spent a day, or so, catching up with him in his cute little home just outside of CM.  Thank you Nolan for taking us in and showing us a great time! After many beers and a few old school stories, Jaimee and I headed back into the heart of CM to go on a two day trek in the mountains and explore CM. 

On our trek we met loads of awesome people and went elephant riding, white water rafting and saw two beautiful waterfalls.  CM is a really cool city with a more authentic thai feel than down south. We found that the locals were much more friendly and the atmosphere much more relaxed. During our time there we met an American, Andrew, who joined us on our next adventure to Pai.

Pai is a funky hippie down just North of CM with tones of awesome organic restaurants, reggae pubs, waterfalls, hot springs and cheap thai massages. Unfortunately I spent the majority of my time in Pai inside the hotel room due to the food poisoning most of us on the trek got. Jaimee was able to rent a scooter and check out some sights but I stayed inside and burdened Andrew with endless questions and life talks. Thank you Andrew, for not only letting me use your toilet, but for your awesome company, unique stories and positive perspective on life.  

After recovering from our food poisoning Jaimee and I headed South to Krabi to hit up Railay beach. We spent one day in Krabi, laying on Railay beach, and soaking up the beauty of the Thai islands. Railay beach is a neat little spot, about 45 minute boat ride from Krabi, on an island full of caves, monkeys and white sandy beaches. Definitely check it out if you are headed that direction. 

Our next stop was Koh Tao where we spent 3 days exploring another Thai island, eating pineapple until our mouths burned, and being sun gods. After burning ourselves to a crisp we started our PADI open water diving course with Ban’s Diving Resort. We both highly recommend this place if anyone is headed to Koh Tao and interested in diving. It is such a phenomena experience to be under the water and see all the beauty nature created under the sea. Diving is so relaxing, peaceful and personal. It is one of the quietest places on earth and somewhere you can really become one with your thoughts. We have a rockin video of our dive experience that will soon be shared on the faces. 

Well…we had used our brains and relaxed for a week so now it was time to destroy both with the crazy, well known, full moon parties. It is honestly 3-4 days (depending on your endurance), of complete madness! We stayed at a fancy hotel where all the other guests were Irish! Almost every single person was Irish, except for the two of us and few English lads. We formed a solid group called team spiral who partied it up together during the full moon festivities. It was a weekend to remember but not one to repeat. Jaimee has all the pictures so if you wanna see the madness just wait for her to display em. With our livers and stomachs destroyed Jaimee and I moved resorts to find somewhere relaxing to recover for a few days. The spot we found, by mistake, was a real gem and exactly what the doctor ordered! After Jaimee left for Canada, I spend my first day alone in over 4 months, just chilling in the hammock outside our little bungalow; reading, writing, sleeping, laying in a hammock and preparing my mind for India. Now that I am in India and personal space is non-existent I am very thankful for that day of peace Thailand gave me, as well as, the unforgettable experiences, memories and laughs with Ms Jaimee Devlin. I love you babes!

Floating village by Bangkok

Village on the train tracks

The village on the tracks. Everything gets moved when the train comes.

In Chiang Mai

Re-connecting with old friends in Chiang Mai

It poured rain on our trek which made it even more exciting

On the trek.Our tree fort homes

On the Trek by Chiang Mai

Andew's mark at Ping's Burger Queen

At Ping's Burger Queen Pai, Thailand 

 

Sunrise in Krabi

 

In Krabi with new friends

Railay Beach by Krabi

On Railay Beach

 

 

Fruit diet on Koh Tao

Same breakfast for 4 days - Iced coffees and musli with fruit. 

Koh Tao Island, Thailand

Exploring Koh Tao with friends

Beach babes on Koh Tao

Our beautiful hotel for the full moon

Gotta include some beautiful Thai sunsets

Body paint sunglasses

Body paint on full moon night

My little bungalow on Koh Phangan

A little relaxing and me time before India

Koh Phangan Island, Thailand

Saying goodbye to SE Asia

Introduction to India

Incredible India

Although I have not yet blogged about Thailand my introduction to India will have to cut the line.

The culture shock of India is completely indescribable. One cannot describe in words what India is like. It is another planet within the world. 

Upon leaving my hotel in Koh Phangan I was thinking to myself that I needed to attract into my life someone travel India with. Jessica, a new friend from my travels in Indonesia, will be connecting with me for one week in India prior to flying home to America. Then I was potentially facing India alone for another 4.5 weeks, so as I sat on the back of my scooter heading to the ferry in Koh Phangan I kept thinking to myself "someone will come into my life to travel India with, it will happen". As I arrived at the ferry terminal and was waiting in line for my ticket a guy behind me said "Hey! You're from Canada, eh? I lived there!". After a short introduction and the standard questions asked, we realized both of us were headed to India within a few weeks of each other. My inner consciousness literally jumped for joy and I gave the Universe a high five......... but it gets even better!

After getting off the ferry on main land Thailand James and I met an American girl (Kate) who was headed to Bangkok on the same bus. Kate and I instantly clicked and spent almost the entire bus ride sharing outrageous travel stories with James, as well as, those ease dropping fellow passengers ;) Kate is such a rocking girl that I said to her on many occasions how I wished we would have had the opportunity to travel together. My father always said "be careful what you wish for" which provided to be completely true in this situation. After the delightful 12 hour bus ride we arrived in Bangkok and found a room to crash in for a few hours. Kate's plan was to spend a few days in Bangkok and then make her way back to America, however after a few hours together she decided to come to India!!!!!! So instead of spending our day going to see the new Batman movie we looked into getting her an Indian visa, extending her Thai visa and working out the details of changing travel routes. I left Kate in Bangkok, as I had to catch my flight to India, but I have complete faith that everything is going to work out and soon we will connect in Mumbai or Goa.

As my plane took off for Chennai I was once again blessed to have met a fellow traveller who is a seasoned vet of India. He has been travelling and living in India for years but randomly came to Chennai (for the first time) due to a late flight booking. He spent the plane ride explaining to me the interesting, confusing and incredible country of India, as well as, the ins and outs of how things work. After landing we grabbed our bags and met the only other white person upon our plane. The three of us then ventured into the city and found a train into Chennai. The train was the dirtiest, oldest, most disturbing train, I have ever seen. It looked like a meat cart that they would butcher cattle on but that was our way into town. We were so absorbed in the sights and sounds of India that we almost missed our stop. At the last second we realized we were in the heart of Chennai and grabbed our bags to jump off. Unfortunately right when our European lady friend was about to jump the train really picked up speed and she ended up face down in the cement. The situation ended up as positively as it could, with no broken bones and no missing teeth however, it was an  interesting introduction to India. 

Even though we had our train mishap I am so utterly grateful to have these two by my side to help ease my way into India. Both of them have been to India before so the culture shock is a little less numbing to them. My seasoned vet introduced me to Indian food today and helped me find the train station, to book a ticket, to get to Jessica in Bangalore. I know I could have done it alone but it would have been way more intense and perhaps too overwhelming. Maybe in a week or two, once I get my bearings, I'll be able to face India alone but until then I will thank my blessings for this trio. From my scooter ride to the ferry in Koh Phangan, to arriving in Chennai, the Universe, or God, or whatever you wanna call it, is definitely taking good care of me. If all these phenomenal people can come into my life within 24 hours of each other I have complete faith that India will be incredible!

Singles or Doubles

When deciding to go on an around the world trip one must decide if they will do it alone or with a partner in crime. Travelling alone and travelling with a group, even as small as two, changes the ball game completely. During my travels I have been blessed with a little bit of both worlds and there is definitely pluses and minuses to both. When travelling in a group, of two or three or more, one has the comfort of having constant companions, people to look after them, those to share memories with and ones to help with the travel decisions. On the flip side your stuck with these people for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in the good times and the bad. Which of course teaches us about ourselves, how we work with people, what we like, what we don't and how much we can take (on every level). The people we travel certain countries with make the experiences grand or not. Whenever someone tells me they hated a country, or its not worth going to, my first question always is, "Who did you go there with?". Usually the answer gives you some immediate insight on how there experience was shaped by those who they shared shoes with (or beds for that matter). People always make or break our experiences in life especially if one lets them steal their peace. The travel groups I have had, I have loved. Team party floor, my American girls, the Austrian and Doro, and my dear friend Jaimee. All of em have been amazing travel partners and I loved every moment with them. But....here's the kicker.....I also absolutely love travelling alone, sometimes even more so than in a group. When you travel alone you meet so many more people its outrageous. Because a travel team has the comfort of those around them, they reach out less often and put themselves out there less. While travelling alone one must solely depend on themselves and create their own happiness, therefore I find myself talking to everyone, making conversation with everyone, and finding a friend in everyone. I have met people who made travel plans with good friends and it turned out to be a complete disaster. I have met couples who argued all the time and others who radiated love for each other. Some people start their trips and realize they cant do it alone and out of fear change their plans and latch on to someone going a similar direction but if that's what you need to make it through there is no judgement here. All I can say is that I have never spent one day alone while travelling. I have found friends on planes, trains and automobiles. There is friends everywhere if you want to find them....one of the best ways to judge a persons character is by how many different types of people they can get along with. I believe that friends, just like music, all types, all variations, all forms, have something to offer if you have the ear to listen. In the end, if you are making travel plans and deciding on whether to do it alone or with a group the decision boils down to you and the type of person you truly are at your core. How brave are you? How outgoing are you? How resourceful are you? How easily do you make friends? Are you willing to put yourself out there? Do you have common sense? Are you easy going? And do you have room in your heart to let people in? It takes courage to let people in and it takes courage to be honest with you who are.  Nevertheless, making the decision to travel is the most difficult decision, after that everything else simply falls into place. So, if you are meant to travel alone it will happen or if you are meant to travel in a group they will find you.

Pieces or castles

My thoughts are super scattered and my heart is torn. The hours turn into days, days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. Yet, so much happens in every hour, every day, every week, that it feels like years since I last saw home. Time means so much but moves so fast. When you travel time takes on a very different form, it shapes itself into an illusion. So much happens everyday that it feels like you've been gone for so long, yet in reality very little time has passed. With so many more months of travelling ahead my heart often wonders what will happen after all the allotted time actually passes. Where will I be? Who will I be? And how much of my heart will be left? There are so many things about life that I do not know, nor understand. What I do know is that everyone is seeking someone special is life. Everyone is looking for love but that really cant surprise anyone. We are not meant to walk this earth alone. There is abundance in everything in life and especially in love.  There is this unseen, but strongly felt, power that pulls us together into twos. It is like there is gravity within our souls that pushes us to look for our compliment. The one who we are to share our story with. I have learnt that almost everything in life comes back to love. Many of us spend our whole lives waiting for it but then when it comes knocking on our door, we want more. We want to change its form or change the person but love doesn't just come in the form of a partner or someone who shares our bed, love comes into our lives in so many forms. Love comes to us in the form of friends, the  grocery store owner, the bus driver who smiles with his heart, the people who cross our path and those we call family.
This all brings me back to my scattered thoughts and torn heart. For the first time in my life, I am not looking for a lover nor do I feel one has a place within my life. But I am still giving love and receiving love everyday but from a different stance. The difficult thing is, whenever we change our view, our perspective automatically changes and the questions that now fill my mind drive me farther to confusion. My heart feels so full that it might explode but on the flip side I feel like I have lost pieces of it. I don't hold back in my friendships nor in life therefore, I give whatever I have to those I meet; my story, my thoughts, my views, and my heart.  Perhaps I give too much of it or perhaps I don't yet know how to hold on it but how is one to hold on to their heart when they travel the world? I have not fallen in love with anyone but I have fallen in love with everyone. There are so many fabulous people that have come into my life that I feel beyond blessed. Everyday I met these extraordinary people with such interesting ideas, thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. We share, we explore, we laugh, we join and then we part. Each time it is getting a little harder and a little more difficult to part. Each time I feel as though a little piece of my heart gets left behind with them as they fad away in the rear view mirror. I remind myself to breathe and remind myself to trust in what I know. "Everything I need is within me and everything I need to know I already possess. Somewhere it all comes back to trusting yourself". - me

Nevertheless, the question keeps coming back. Can I continue to give away pieces of my heart? Or, do I build an visible castle and leave the closest parts of my heart locked away? My initial response to the latter is always immediately "No". Thus, my mind continues to race and attempt to find a way to keep my heart whole. Perhaps there is no answer. Perhaps this will remain one of the many things I do not know about life. That is okay because not all questions need answers and not all answers need questions. As my thoughts continue in circles, like the swings at the fair, around and around and around, my heart will continue to give in the only way it knows how - completely. Maybe my heart will end up scattered across this beautiful earth or perhaps I am just learning. Learning a new perspective or a new view, on how to give, how to love, and how to share. To some this post will make absolutely no sense, to others they understand perfectly how we give parts of ourselves to those we travel the world with. For all those whom we shared the same path, short or long, and to all those who are about to come into my life, a piece of my heart is now yours. Perhaps in learning this love is where my salvation lies.

D-D-D-Diarrhea

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea

Over the last few months I have received numerous facebook messages, emails and texts, from people enquiring if I had gotten diarrhea or food poisoning while travelling South East Asia. Obviously, I am a very open individual, otherwise a blog wouldn't be be very feasible, yet blogging about diarrhea takes things to a new level. Nevertheless, it has taken a lot of time to answer private messages so now it's time to go public....

My travels began in China, and since then I have travelled through Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, and currently I am in Thailand.

During my travels, I have eaten every type of street food possible from bloody chicken, to questionable meats, to strange meat buns. This is one of the most beautiful things about travelling - trying the local food and really experiencing how the locals eat. Therefore, my various travel mates and I have always attempted to eat local dishes which usually means eating cheap. While in China I made a conscious decision to begin brushing my teeth with tap water. Although many travellers consistently use bottled water to brush their teeth, if you are going to have iced coffees and eat fresh vegetables (washed in water), you might as well put your toothbrush under the tap. The majority of travellers brush their teeth with local tap water and are fine so it's not something I would trouble your mind with. So far, I have been extremely lucky and haven't had any major episodes of diarrhea, food poisoning or nausea from food. Of course, I have had nausea from buses, trains and planes but not from the food here in Asia. My stomach is more sensitive to motion than it is to bugs. There have been three days when my poop hasn't been as solid as it should be, but I believe that it was most likely due to many days of two many beers with the Irish, versus bad food.

Unfortunately my luck ran out while in Thailand and food poisoning came knocking on my door. While in Chaing Mai, my girl friend and I went on a two day trek in the mountains with all meals provided. The meals were fantastic and were nothing different from what I have previously been eating in SE Asia. However, upon returning back to Chiang Mai, the majority of the people on the trek came down with a nasty case of food poisoning which sent us praying to the porcelain gods for 12 hours or more. At first, I thought it was the dinner we had just eaten but when the food passed and our stomachs emptied but the vomiting continued I knew something major was up. I will save you the gross details but lets just say we needed two bathrooms that night. So, we sucked it up, drank as much water as possible, and allowed our bodies to pass out the bug. One of the unique things about SE Asia is that almost anything you can imagine is available at the local pharmacy. Thus, if nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach or diarrhea hits you, there will always be an available remedy. 

Food rules while travelling - 

1. Get your vacations prior to leaving your home country. 

2. Bring gravol & diarrhea pills.

3. Wash your hands as much as possible or use hand sanitiser. 

4. Make sure whenever you eat meat get it cooked well! 

5. Eat all the local food you can and don't stress about getting sick. If it happens, it happens but don't limit your travel experience out of fear of illness. The experience of sharing and tasting local food with friends, from around the world, will be memories your heart and taste buds will cherish forever.

"One of the delights of life is eating with friends, second to that is talking about eating. And, for an unsurpassed double whammy, there is talking about eating while you are eating with friends" - Laurie Colwin.