Perhaps it's because the hour is late. Or perhaps, it's because I'm only sharing my bed with the stuffed dog I got for Christmas but i feel the desire to write again. It hits me like a truck. An overwhelming, increasingly powerful, yearning, that can't be satiated by anything but the very sound of my fingers on the keyboard. Over time I've come to the realization that it takes a very particular trifecta for this yearning it start. First, I must be physically alone. Secondly, I must be on the cusp of or in the process of a great journey. And thirdly, the hour must been passed Cinderella's bedtime. If the trifecta isn't complete writing will not occur therefore, no secrets will be shared with the world.
For approximately the past two years I have spent only 6 nights physically away from Liam and of those maybe one night I stayed up passed midnight and zero nights when I was on the cusp of or in the process of a great journey. Hence, my writing absence of almost exactly one year to date. But then all of a sudden, I find myself cuddling a stuffed dog and checking the clock at 12:35 am unable to sleep. My mind is racing. I'm moving to the other side of the world!
As my mind begins to trace the distance distance between Canada and Australia my heart rate increases a couple of beats per second. I feel a warm sweat begin on the back of my neck and I rub my forehead. Then I Toss. Turn. Toss. Turn. Exhale (loudly). And open my eyes. Holy shit! I'm finally moving to Oz.
This may not seem like much for a girl who wrote a travel blog from 30 different countries but for some reason it feels so different. Not more frightening (well the spiders are pretty frightening) but just more concrete. More fixed. Like somehow this was always meant to be.
I'll explain,
10 years ago I travelled Australia and came home singing that I'd live no where in the world but Canada or Oz. Then 8 years later when I started dreaming up my solo trip around the world I looked into Australian visa's and the Dietititian Association of Australia. I was determined not to come home to Canada after my travels and instinctively wanted to go to Australia. During my journey around the world I met the love of my life who turned out to be an Aussie and one with a visa to Canada. After almost two years in Canada, that visa is about to expire and it's time to go. The kangaroos are calling. ;)
My family and friends keep asking me if I'm excited or nervous. And what will I miss about Canada? So, I created a facebook post about the things (I presume) I'll miss most about Canada but who is really to know? All I do know is that I'm definitely not nervous but I'm also not feeling overly, off the wall, excited. Don't get me wrong, of course I'm excited to move out of the Canadian Tundra but I don't feel that hair pulling, eye bulging, jumping up and down type of excitement. It's almost a calm, tranquil like excitement, if there is such a thing? But where does this tranquil sense of excitement stem from?
I went back to the very first facebook messages Liam and I ever sent each other to explore how it all fell so perfectly into place. It was by re-reading theses facebook messages that I was able to re-live our meeting, our separation and our chance reunion. I re-read how many things had to fall into place, almost perfectly, for us to be spending our lives together. And for me to be moving to Oz.
I realize now that this tranquil sense of excitement can only stem from being exactly where you are meant to be. In life and in love.
xx
For approximately the past two years I have spent only 6 nights physically away from Liam and of those maybe one night I stayed up passed midnight and zero nights when I was on the cusp of or in the process of a great journey. Hence, my writing absence of almost exactly one year to date. But then all of a sudden, I find myself cuddling a stuffed dog and checking the clock at 12:35 am unable to sleep. My mind is racing. I'm moving to the other side of the world!
As my mind begins to trace the distance distance between Canada and Australia my heart rate increases a couple of beats per second. I feel a warm sweat begin on the back of my neck and I rub my forehead. Then I Toss. Turn. Toss. Turn. Exhale (loudly). And open my eyes. Holy shit! I'm finally moving to Oz.
This may not seem like much for a girl who wrote a travel blog from 30 different countries but for some reason it feels so different. Not more frightening (well the spiders are pretty frightening) but just more concrete. More fixed. Like somehow this was always meant to be.
I'll explain,
10 years ago I travelled Australia and came home singing that I'd live no where in the world but Canada or Oz. Then 8 years later when I started dreaming up my solo trip around the world I looked into Australian visa's and the Dietititian Association of Australia. I was determined not to come home to Canada after my travels and instinctively wanted to go to Australia. During my journey around the world I met the love of my life who turned out to be an Aussie and one with a visa to Canada. After almost two years in Canada, that visa is about to expire and it's time to go. The kangaroos are calling. ;)
My family and friends keep asking me if I'm excited or nervous. And what will I miss about Canada? So, I created a facebook post about the things (I presume) I'll miss most about Canada but who is really to know? All I do know is that I'm definitely not nervous but I'm also not feeling overly, off the wall, excited. Don't get me wrong, of course I'm excited to move out of the Canadian Tundra but I don't feel that hair pulling, eye bulging, jumping up and down type of excitement. It's almost a calm, tranquil like excitement, if there is such a thing? But where does this tranquil sense of excitement stem from?
I went back to the very first facebook messages Liam and I ever sent each other to explore how it all fell so perfectly into place. It was by re-reading theses facebook messages that I was able to re-live our meeting, our separation and our chance reunion. I re-read how many things had to fall into place, almost perfectly, for us to be spending our lives together. And for me to be moving to Oz.
I realize now that this tranquil sense of excitement can only stem from being exactly where you are meant to be. In life and in love.
xx
